“Hospitality”

June 26, 2005

Scripture Reading:   Matthew 10:40-42 

 Rev. Dr. Carol L. Kerr

Blue Point Congregational Church

“Hospitality.”  The word “hospitality” conjures up two images in most people’s minds.  The first is the “hospitality industry.”  That is hotels, restaurants, travel agents, and such forms of entertainment as cruise ships where the man’s voice on the television set declares something like, “Somewhere between the rock wall climbing and the dancing and the snorkeling…you realize this is way more than a vacation.”   “Hospitality” as in the “hospitality industry” makes money.  Hospitality is productive and profitable. 

The other image that comes to people’s minds when they hear the word “hospitality” is Martha Stewart and other decorating sages giving advice on how to be a good hostess.  Lavender sprigs on the guest pillows.  A big bowl of strawberry and chocolates for breakfast with Champaign.    For the forth of July you can find creative ways to decorate with flags in “Good Housekeeping” magazine.   “Hospitality” as in Martha Stewart is about creative etiquette and impressing guests. 

If you have gone to church a lot, and if you have been on a lot of committees you might have a third meaning come to mind when you hear the word “hospitality.”  I have a three ring notebook on church growth.  In it there is a section labeled “hospitality.”  This section suggests ways churches make new people feel comfortable on their first visit so that they will come back.  There are suggestions like posting clear signs where the bathrooms are, putting name tags on, giving the new person a name tag.  Also, writing the words to the Lord’s prayer in the bulletin is another one, so newcomers who don’t have it memorized don’t have to lower their heads and mumble quietly to fake it.  The big thing that is suggested in notebooks like mine, is to talk to new people when they come down for coffee.  Don’t let them stand in the corner all alone!  “Hosptiality” as in church growth is about increasing attendance in church and getting big numbers in your church.

“Hospitality” is more than these three things.  It is more than vacations, and impressing friends, or even church growth.  Hospitality is at the heart of the spiritual path.  Hospitality is one of those things that we need to do because it makes us seek and maintain the most meaningful experiences in life and with God.    

Let me tell you three stories that will point to the spiritual depths of the practice of hospitality.  The first story takes place U.S. boarder with Mexico in the southwestern United States.  The Sonoran Desert is the most treacherous place for illegal immigrants to cross over to here from Mexico.  Daytime temperatures reach up to 130 degrees.  You might think that heat, lack of water, cactus, scorpions, snakes and the threat of death from exposure or dehydration would be deterrents to anyone attempting to enter the United States illegally.  But, many desperate people have attempted to cross the desert anyway because they are so desperate to find a better life here in the United States.   Some are in small family groups.  Many are led by “coyotes,” the smugglers who promise to see them safely across the border.  Hundred die every year in the Sonoran Desert.  However, since 2001 many immigrants have found a drink of life-saving water in the desert.  Blue flags flying 30 feet over tanks of water mark the water stations provided by an organization called Humane Borders.  On a typical water-station servicing run, Humane Borders volunteers ride out in flatbed trucks across two lane roads through the northward paths of immigrants crossing the desert.  From tanks in the backs of the truck, volunteers fill the water barrels and sing a song of hope for the world and for the immigrants who make this dangerous journey. 

It was started by Rev. Robin Hoover, pastor of the First Christian Church of Tucson, Arizona.  The U.S. Border Patrol was once against the project.  But now it permits Humane Borders water stations.  It agrees with Rev. Hoover who says, “We must take death out of the migration equation.” 

At the heart of hospitality is a drink of water.  As Jesus said in today’s scripture “…and whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple – truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward.”  (Matthew 10:42)  There is nothing that better symbolizes the basic equality of all of humanity than a cup of water.  We all need and drink water.  It is not a luxury it is a necessity for survival.   So I passed out water at the beginning of the service.  On hot days as yesterday and today the temperature reached 95.  We just like those Mexican immigrants welcomed the refreshing draught.    Imagine seeing one of those blue flags at 130 degrees, an angel from heaven has stopped in your path.  Everyone needs a cup of water, Donald trump, Bin Laden, George Bush, a child in Africa with AIDS, a student as USM,  a laborer in China, the Protestant, the Catholic, the Buddhist, the atheist.   We all need a cup of water.  So hospitality extends to all of humanity equally.  Hospitality points to being open and accepting of everyone. 

Monasticism has a deep tradition of hospitality.  In the middle ages it use to be that the roads were dangerous places.  There were thieves and bandits and warring fiefdoms.  Monasteries were often the only refuge for a traveler.  Otherwise they might well die.  Like the Presbyterian church that Robin serves as the minister, monks understood well that hospitality is not about increasing numbers attending, or simply being nice as in the meaningless sentiment, “Have a nice day.”  Hospitality is about helping people survive in a world that is often cruel.  Hospitality is about providing a place of refuge.  In our church, we don’t often get people who are dying of thirst, or in danger for their lives,  but certainly there are many people who come looking for a place of refuge, a harbor in the storm.  For a church hospitality is letting a person in where they are free to enter a peaceful place and most of all free to rest from the worries of the world.   Like Humane Borders, hospitality has no agenda for the person.  Certainly Humane Borders does not tell them what they should do, if they should go back to Mexico.  The only agenda is wishing their blessing.   After all we are all immigrants finding our way in the world, often fleeing for a better life. 

The next story about hospitality is this.  Bishop Ken Goodson went to dinner at the ned of a church conference.  Surrounded by friends and colleagues, Bishop Goodson welcomed the waitress who was serving his table, and as they circled hands to say a prayer before the meal, he invited the young waitress to join them.  He thanked God for the day and asked God to bless the food, to be with them in their time of fellowship and throughout the night.  And then with the worn out hand of the waitress wrapped up in his own, he prayed, “God, we thank you for our waitress this evening.  We thank you for the way she has cared for us and served us so well.  If there is anything hurting her, if there is any place she needs healing, grant her your presence and your love in the same way that she has been so gracious to us this evening.  Amen.” 

Bishop Goodson looked up and there were tears streaming down the young woman’s face, and with her hands still bound in the circle, she had no way to wipe them off.  “Thank you.”  She said.  “Today has been a terrible day.  Nothing in my life is going right just now.  How did you know?”

In the book Radical Hospitality by Father Daniel Homan and Lonni Collins Pratt, they make the point that our society is loaded with self-help books.  It is as if self-help is the only reason we are here on earth.  American spirituality deteriorates to self-help.  It is a consumer type spirituality where God is a product with incredible benefits. God helps us live well, live healthfully, be prosperous and emotionally strong.  God becomes a great motivational speaker or a talk show host who offers options for successful spirituality and makes you successful in business.

The fact of the matter is, however, that spirituality is not about self-help.  It is not a thing that we do on our own and buy into the God product because of the great dividends the investment will bring for us.   Rather spirituality is not about self-help.  It is about relationship.  It is about relationship with others and relationship with God.    It is not something we pick off the shelf.  Rather it is something we get embroiled in. 

I like this story about Bishop Goodson and the waitress for a number of reasons.  For one thing suddenly people are no longer in their roles.  She is no longer “just the waitress”  he is no longer “just the customer” rather they are together before God.  Perhaps its that cup of water thing again.  She pluncked down a cup of water after she gave him the menus.  The cup of water, the great equalizer.  She served him with the water and he asked that God serve her as well.  The other thing I liked about is, was that the Bishop was sticking his neck out.  I don’t know if I would have the guts to include the waitress in a prayer.  After all, she might be too busy, or not like to prayer, or feel pushed into it.  But, the Bishop did a daring thing.  If he just stuck to their roles they would have been in a superficial relationship.  Each would have gone on their way, barely remembering the other.  Rather, he stepped over the roles and entered into a real relationship with the waitress.   He extended hospitality.  He invited her into the circle.  He gave her his hand to hold as they prayed.

 Thirdly, I like this story because it got messy.  It got wonderfully terribly messy.  If the Bishop had just stuck to the roles, if he had just stuck to the script which we all read from, the waitress wouldn’t have started crying.  She wouldn’t have spilled out her terrible day and her great need for the prayers.  Who knows what is going to happen next?   Perhaps she showed up at the Bishop’s church and asked for counseling, or asked for money.  Who is this waitress anyway?  How do we know that she not crazy, or a looser, or on drugs, or pregnant, or in an abusive relationship, or a spend thrift?  We don’t know.  She could be.  Relationship is messy.  We don’t know the stranger.  Hospitality is entangling.  We are taught to be suspicious of the stranger.  We are taught to keep them out of our lives.  We are taught to stay out of relationship until we know we can trust the person.  So in a way the Bishop was irresponsible.  We just took her hand and prayed with a complete stranger.  But, inspite of all that.  In spite of the cascade of reasons not to enter into relationship.  In spite of all the unknowns now spilling forth from the relationship  There was something wonderful in it.  Some true font of meaning poured out of the encounter.  Don’t we all need a hand to hold?”  someone to share a meal with?  A little prayer offered on our behalf, to drive away the darkness, to destroy the isolation?  Of course we do.

The third story is this.  At a sprawling market in Mexico City there is an old Indian man named Pota-lamo who sells onions.  Twenty strings of onions lay in front of him.  A guy from Denver walks up and asks,

“How much for a string of onions?”

“Ten cents,” he replies.

“How much for two strings?”

He fixes his eyes on him and says, “Twenty cents”

“What about three?”

“Thirty cents.”

“Not much of a reduction for quantity.  Would you take twenty-five cents for three?”

“No.”

“Well, how much for all of it, the whole twenty strings?”

“I will not sell you the whole twenty strings.”

“Why not?” asks the American.  “Aren’t you here to sell onions?”

“No,” replies Pota-lamo, “I am here ot live my life.  I love this market.  I love the crowds.  I love the sunlight and smells.  I love the children.  I love to have my friends come by and talk about their babies and their crops.  That is my life and for tha reason I sit here with my twenty strings of onions.  If I sell all my onions to one customer, then my day is over and I have lost my life that I love – that I will not do.” 

I hope our church never gets so big that we forget about the practice of hospitality.  It would be like selling all our onions and going home.  Hospitality gives us our life.  It gives us our reason to be in relationship with anyone walking through the doors, or anyone we meet during the week.  It is wonderful saying “Hi!” to the new children coming to our church.  We make new friends with the people who come to our pancake breakfasts.  Our experience of church would be diminished.  Why is this?  Every person we welcome carries a bit of God with them.  Everyone that enters here has something to teach us about God.  Dan Wakefield in his book, The Story of Your Life: Writing a Spiritual Autobiography says that although he had taught writing classes in some of the best Universities in the nation, the best writing he has every read is that written by ordinary people writing their spiritual autobiographies.  There was barely ever a dud in any of these papers.  He says,

These people are writing about what’s most important to them or as close as they can articulate it.  When you’re talking about the soul, about religious or spiritual experience, you’re talking about the center.  You’re not just writing about “what happened to me,” nor just “what I did,” although that’s part of the story.  You’re talking about that essential dynamic in a person’s life that has to do with a major shift in their desire, or their discovery of the real desire for religious or spiritual experience.  …I think the reason these autobiographies are always so interesting is that they always have to do with that central action.  Another way of saying it is that “God is never boring.” 

Hospitality is not just about relationship with others because we can help them feel safe.  Hospitality is about God coming to us in the guise of a stranger.  There is a reason God sent each and every person to this church.  It is God knocking at our door, and we are to let God in. 

Hospitality extends to everything in life beyond the church and beyond even other people.  There is a prayer called “The Welcoming Prayer.”  It is the spiritual practice of welcoming every person, every event, every moment of your life.  Anything and everything that comes our way, the good and, yes, even the bad is delivered by God to us to learn from.  The prayer begins, “Welcome, welcome, welcome.  I welcome everything that comes to me in to his moment because I know it is for my healing…” 

Hospitality is our life.  Like Pota-lamo the point is not in the numbers, to sell as many onions as you have and go home.  The point of hospitality is not to make an industry out of it, as in the hospitality industry, and so to make it profitable.  The point of hospitality is not to impress people with how good a hostess you are.  The point of hospitality is not to increase the number of members we have in the church.  Nor is hospitality a better self-help method towards maximum success.  Rather the point of hospitality is to be open to encountering God in each person that comes our way and providing a refuge of peace for that person, no matter who they are.   We offer a cup of water to each other and to anyone who enters here.  Water without which no can live.   The same water by which we ourselves are baptized.   (Take water and pour cup into baptism font.)