The story of Peter is a story of great love, great betrayal and great redemption.  Peter is a model for us all.  We so often fall short, terribly short – like Peter.  But, Jesus sacrificed himself for us, none the less.  In other words, Jesus gave himself even unto death on a cross,  before we deserved the gift.  Jesus gave before he should have.  Jesus fore-gave.  When we realize the power of this action, we catch onto the resurrection.  Something inside of us that was dead comes alive.  Something that was lost is found.  Something that was blind can see.  Although we cannot change our past, because of  Jesus’ forgiving love we find ways to make the past to work for a better future. 

Peter started out as a fisherman.  He shared a boat with Andrew, his brother on the shore of Galilee.  Jesus walked by and told them to stop fishing for fish and start fishing for people.  And then he took a look at Peter and nick named him “Rock.”  Rock – what does that mean?  A rock can be anything.  He could have meant Peter was solid, or dumb, heavy, or rolls, or is in the way, or is trustworthy.  What does “rock” mean?  I guess it depends on how you use it. 

Peter, the rock,  immediately followed Jesus and became one of his disciples.  Peter followed Jesus in his ministry.  Peter witnessed Jesus heal people.  Peter heard the parables of Jesus the first time anyone heard them.  Peter was in the boat when Jesus walked on water.  Peter tried it out himself, although it didn’t work.

Peter was one of the most enthusiastic and dedicated of the disciples.  There was a lot of speculation about who Jesus was or wasn’t.  There were all kinds of half baked theories.  One day, Jesus asked Peter straight out, “Who do you think that I am?”  It took a lot of guts to blurt out what Peter did, “You’re the Christ, the Son of the living God (Matthew 16:15)”  You could get yourself stoned to death as a blasphemer saying things like that.  You could get yourself crucified.   Peter was completely devoted and utterly loyal to Jesus.

Then, things took a turn for the worse.  Then came those dark miserable days.  At the last supper Jesus started to wash the disciples’ feet.  Peter protested and begged Jesus to wash his hands and his head!  “Don’t wash my feet, the lowest of the low.  What are you thinking Jesus?”   At the same meal Jesus was talking spooky things.  Jesus kept saying that he would “have to be going soon.”  Jesus said that he was going to where nobody on earth could follow him.  Peter finally got the point.  He figured that Jesus thought he was going to die.  Peter said, “I want to follow you.  I will lay down my life for you.”  Who wouldn’t be if you secretly thought he was the Christ.  Maybe Jesus should have called Peter “bubble” instead of “rock” because Jesus went and popped Peter’s bubble.  He said, “Listen the cock won’t crow until you have betrayed me three times (John 13:36)”.

The scripture testifies to what happened then:

Then they seized Jesus and led him away… Peter was following at a distance.  When they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them.  Then a servant-girl, seeing him in the firelight, stared at him and said, “This man also was with him.”  But he denied it, saying “Woman, I do not know him.”  A little later someone else, on seeing him, said, “You also are one of them.”  But Peter said, “Man, I am not!”  then about an hour later still another kept insisting, “Surely this man also was with him; for he is a Galilean.”  But Peter said, “Man I do not know what you are talking about!”  At that moment, while he was still speaking, the cock crowed.”  The Lord turned and looked at Peter.  (Luke 22:54-62)

Peter was afraid.  Fear grips us and changes us.  Fear makes us do bad things.  One form of fear or another is behind practically everything bad that we do. 

Betrayed, abandoned by Peter, Jesus was crucified.  How bad a friend is that?  One of the arguments for the validity of the gospel accounts is that the disciples look so bad in them.  Who would make something like that up about themselves?  The “Rock” rolled down hill away from Jesus, in the wrong direction and was gathering momentum. This is who Jesus died for. 

But, then the resurrection happened.  Peter was one of the first to see the empty tomb.  Later Jesus comes to Peter and the disciples on the shore of the sea of Galilee and asks Peter, “Do you love me?”  Jesus asks Peter three times, do you love me?  Peter was hurt because he asked so many times.  Three times – funny, didn’t Peter deny him three times too? 

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”  After what Peter had done, Jesus still believed in Peter.  Jesus forgave Peter and gave Peter the most important job of all.  So, in the end, Peter became a different Rock.  Peter became the very stone at the foundation of Jesus’ church. 

We cannot undo the past.  What is done is done.  But, we can put the past in a context of new meaning.  But, how can someone who had little back bone in the first place gain the backbone to change.  How can we get soul force?  The same way Peter did.  Christ was willing to die for us, even knowing that we can and do betray him at the moment of his death.  But, then the resurrected Jesus comes back to us.  It would be easy for Jesus to ask for an explanation, to ask for us to justify our actions.  But, Jesus doesn’t do that.  We would be no better than get defensive.  Rather, the resurrected Christ comes back and eats with us and cares for us and gives us life.  So, inspite of our selves we can set our defenses aside and simply love him.   A love which is more powerful that our love before we were forgiven.  A love which is solid and has backbone.

In the book of Acts it says that people saw the courage of Peter and realized that he was an ordinary and unschooled man.  None the less, they were astonished and wondered about Jesus.   

Finally in a letter, years after Jesus’ resurrection, Peter says it all in once sentence:  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead!  (1 Peter 1:3)

 

“Forgiving Others and Butterflies”

There are people that we need to forgive.  It could be people from a painful childhood. It could be a spouse or an ex-spouse.  It could  be your  boss, your child, or your friend. Maybe a politician.  How about Bin Laden?   We all need to forgive. 

Forgiveness is not a natural emotion.  Revenge comes more easily.   I have to talk myself into forgiving.  I don’t have to talk myself into rage at injustice especially if I feel it is injustice to myself.  What if someone killed your parent?  What if someone tried to kill you?  Did someone ruin your life?  Think of the families of victims of 9/11, how do they feel?

An eye for and eye and a tooth for a tooth is easy to get.  When I was a kid and my sister wrecked something of mine, I would want to wreck something of hers.  When my mother tried to stop me I would justify my actions by saying, “…so she knows how it feels.” 

The Bible is full of  revenge.  King David asked Saul if he could marry Saul’s daughter.  Saul said that he could only if he paid the price of the foreskins of a hundred Philistines as vengeance “on his enemies.  David doubled the offer, hauling back a sack of 200 foreskins.  Saul, no romantic, had the skins counted.  There is Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers, Moses killing an Egyptian, Cain and Able.  Adam was not only the first  human, but also, some Christian believe, the worlds first instrument of revenge.  Satan, bitter at being tossed out of heaven, vowed to tempt Adam and all his descendants to sin.  Satan would use mankind to get even with God. 

 

Forgiveness is not a natural emotion.  It only comes naturally if I have been forgiven myself.   Peter is the “rock” upon which Christ built his church.  What made the “rock” strong was forgiveness.  Peter betrayed Jesus at the crucifixion, but Jesus died for him anyway.  And after the resurrection Jesus appeared to him.  Forgiveness is the rock in the rock.   That is why in our worship service the prayer of confession and the assurance of our forgiveness is so important.  It allows me to feel grace in my soul like Peter felt.  I become free and have joy.  To say the least I feel relief that I have gotten off the hook.  That relief, joy and freedom gives me the heart to forgive someone else.   It is the knowledge that Jesus has sacrificed himself for me that allows me to attempt to reach out to others that have hurt me. 

Still it is not easy.  Henri Nowen writes:

I have often said, “I forgive you,” but even as I said these words my heart remained angry or resentful.  I still wanted to hear the story that tells me that I was right after all; I still wanted to hear apologies and excuses; I still wanted the satisfaction of receiving some praise in return – if only the praise for being so forgiving!  But God’s forgiveness is unconditional; it comes from a heart that does not demand anything for itself, a heart that is completely empty of self-seeking.  It is this divine forgiveness s that I have to practice in my daily life.  It calls me to keep stepping over all my arguments that say forgiveness is unwise, unhealthy, and impractical.  It challenges me to step over all my needs of gratitude and compliments.  Finally, it demands of me that I step over that wounded part of my heart that feels hurt and wronged and that wants to stay in control and put a few conditions between me and the one whom I am asked to forgive. 

How far do you take forgiveness?  Jesus told Peter that you are to forgive seventy times seven times.  That is 490 times. That is a lot of times.  To forgive someone can be very unsettling.  It might be good in theory but in reality it is hard.   Some times are easer to forgive than others.  For instance, it might be fairly easy to forgive someone shop lifting, provided that they give the stuff back.  Or to forgive your child from dropping out of college and not paying you for the tuition you spent, as long as they end up with a good job anyway.  However, forgiveness can quickly confusing, and down right disturbing.  What if someone tried to kill you?   Should you forgive them.   Or, what if someone didn’t try but in fact killed your child?   What about the person who abused you?  What about the person who made lied and made you loose your job so they could get a promotion?   What about the quote at the top of the bulletin.  Did God really die for Hitler’s sins?  The truth is forgiveness is not fair.

I can’t really answer these questions for you.  All I can say is this:  The alternative to not forgiving is not so great either.  Frank Reed, an american citizen held hostage in Lebanon disclosed upon his release that he had not spoken to one of his fellow hostages for several months following some minor dispute.  Most of that time, the two feuding hostages had been chained together.   It makes me wonder what was their prison?  Was it the terrorists or their hardened hearts.   When they were released from their in chains were they really free if they could not forgive each other?

Revenge may come much more naturally than forgiveness, but revenge doesn’t heal.  Revenge certainly doesn’t help your enemies change for the better.  But, as importantly revenge doesn’t help you change for the better.  The wish for revenge keeps us chained to our enemies for ever.  Forgiveness, as incredibly hard as it is, as incredibly unfair and gut wrenching as it can be, will also free us. 

But, who am I to talk?  Only people who have gone through horrible things and were able to forgive in spite of them are the ones to talk.  So, I went on the web and found an organization called Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance.  On it are many stories of people who have been able to forgive the unforgivable.  One man, Thomas Tanemori,  was a survivor of the Hiroshima atom bomb.  He was 8 years old at the time.  He lived 7/10th of a mile from Ground Zero.  He lost six members of his immediate family including both is parents.  When he was 18 he had to go to America.  His emotions were controlled by revenge.  The need for vengeance fueled his every action.  He worked by revenge, he slept by revenge, for revenge he survived.  Revenge held him together. 

Then one day he was driving across the Golden Gate bridge in California.  He was on his way to give another “pay back” speech, on August 5, 1985.   He saw a flash made by the summer sun reflected on his windshield.  He though, “Oh, God, no, not again…”  The summer cloud reminded him of the mushroom cloud on that fateful day, August 6, 1945. 

Suddenly, he remembered a dream he had as a boy the night before the bomb when he was in the bomb shelter.  The dream was the transformation of suffering from a raging fireball into a white butterfly.  Then when he awoke as a boy he saw that the fire and almost burned itself out.  And as he watched the embers of the fire the vision continued.  The embers began to transform into orange and black Monarch butterflies.  As they emerged, they created a symphony.  It was an angelic chorus more beautiful than anything he had ever heard.  He sang with the glorious sound.  The sky erupted with more and more butterflies.  These heavenly creatures filled the sky with a magnificent multi-colored sunset.  There was one fabulous white butterfly that led the multitude of monarch butterflies dancing and surging in every direction. 

Tanemori parked by the side of the road.  The memory of the dream was so vivid that he thought he was there once again.  He looked up to the clouds and in them he saw the faces of people very dear to him, and of his three children.  At that moment a real white butterfly flew threw the window and graced on his dashboard. 

He heard a voice speaking words of the Scripture:

            …recompense to no man evil for evil.. Avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, “Vengeance is mine…,” saith the Lord.”  Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirsts give him drink. – for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.  Do not overcome evil with evil.  But overcome evil with good.

In his own words Tanemori shares what the experience felt like:  All the resentment, anger, bitterness, consuming desire for vengeance toward Americans paled against the overwhelming love I felt when the white butterfly touched my heart with its magical power.  It seemed as thought the energy of the butterfly removed the clay that blinded my eyes for four decades.  It was only then, I felt for the first time a burden had been taken away.  I returned to myself, with a sense of newness and freshness.  I saw unmistakably and irrevocably that my enemies were not the Americans… 

The enemy was none other than myself.  At last, I found peace within… And I wondered how many butterflies are flapping their wings, desiring to touch the hearts of the children of the world? 

So I wear the butterfly stole today.  Usually I wear it as symbol of Easter and resurrection.  Forgiveness is a lot like resurrection.  In fact, it is a resurrection in and of itself.    The caterpillar with its heavy mud bound body dies, and through that death metamorphosis happens and new life emerges, the butterfly.  The stole is white like the white butterfly in Tanemori’s fantastic vision.  It is a stole of forgivness.  As the caterpillar is crawling along the ground whereas the butterfly is free. 

Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.  I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see. 

HAND OUT BUTTERFLIES.